Safe Space

Have you ever gone somewhere and had someone tell you not to feel intimidated because "this is a safe space". This has been something that has helped me in the past to feel more at ease in a group setting, but it doesn't always work because of my insecurity. This is unfortunate because only when I'm in a safe space do I feel able to share a piece of myself with others.

Recently I was at someone's house with a small group of people. We all meet because we have a common interest of writing and want to encourage each other. As part of the meeting we share something that we have written. I am currently writing a book, something that I have never tried before, so naturally I was a bit nervous because I didn't know how good it was. I was so worried about what the people in the group would think about it that I began to get very nervous and the palms of my hands began to sweat. What would they say? Sure, they may be encouraging to my face about my writing but what would they really be thinking on the inside? I became so fearful of what they thought that when it was my turn to read I started by apologizing because it was still in the rough draft stage and wasn't finished. I didn't feel safe. I went on and on about how sorry I was for the writing I was presenting. Finally, I read it and everybody seemed to like it but I still had my doubts and felt like such a failure. Despite what may have been said at the group I just knew that nobody liked it and they didn't like me.

The next day after the meeting I couldn't stop thinking about what a failure I was and how much everybody in that group must not like me because I am so pathetic. The entire day I continued to think in this manner and then I began to think about how this person and that person in my life, not at all related to the group, don't like me either. I began to sink deeper and deeper into depression because I felt so alone and there was nobody that could help me. My husband absolutely hates it when I get into one of these funks but doesn't know how to help me get back to "normal". The truth is that there is nothing my husband can do to help, it is between me and God, and only God can help pull me back up out of the depression.

Later that night God began to speak to me about my situation. He showed me that the enemy had been filling my mind with lies for several days in order to make me feel inferior so I would go into depression. The passage from the book I am writing is about part of my walk with God and the enemy didn't want me to share it. The reason he tried to prevent my sharing it was because he wants Christians to be separated and to not share their personal experiences. As we share our experiences with one another we can learn from each other and grow closer to God and the enemy will do everything possible to stop this! So, when I read my writing it was presented by a person feeling inferior to everybody instead of someone who has overcome many things thanks to God. Thereby making it ineffective.

After God showed me what had happened he immediately convicted me. God showed me that when I apologized for my writing that I wasn't apologizing for myself but rather for Him. See, I began writing this book because I felt that He wanted me to do it, and I have been led by the Holy Spirit for every aspect of the book. So, when I apologized to the group for my writing, I was apologizing for the thoughts and lessons that He has put in my heart through my experiences. I was apologizing for the message God is trying to speak through me. I repented for my actions as soon as I realized what I had done and God was faithful to tell me the title and general subject of the book I'll write after I finish this current book. The reason why this was important was that for several days before this prayer time with God I had been wondering if I could even write a second book. I couldn't imagine what the subject matter would be for any more books. But when God told me what the next book would be it was His way of encouraging me to continue on in my writing.

God has given each of us a message to share with other believers and non-believers. He has given us all incredible gifts in order to speak to His people so they can be comforted, loved, and brought closer to the heart of God. Naturally, the enemy doesn't want us to use our gifts because he wants everybody to become distant to God and the hope is to have all people completely turn away from Him. So the enemy attacks our minds to make us feel inferior so we won't share what God has put on our heart; this is what happened to me. True, I did actually share my writing but I did it in a manner that virtually ensured nobody would be take it seriously thereby preventing them from absorbing the meaning of what was being said.

It is our job to know who we are in Christ and not apologize for it! God made you and me in His image (Gen. 1:26), and He is perfect, so why don't we think we're perfect? Yes, we are not actually perfect because we are constantly sinning and making missteps, but when He is working through us we are perfect. When He is using us to speak to His people we must know that we are safe to do what He has instructed because He has already made the way. It is important to know that a safe space is not created by people but rather you can only feel safe when you are confident in who you are in Christ!

We, as the church, need to start believing that God loves us and made us the way we are on purpose in order to advance His kingdom. The only thing we need to do is stand up and be who God made us to be. When we succeed in being who God made us to be, then and only then will we feel like we are in a safe space.